Uneasy the Course of Love: The Return
by ZaraValinor
Summary: A multipart story of what happened after  that argument between Harry and Remus.  DH spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

This is a story I couldn't help doing after I read Deathly Hallows. It was originally conceived as part of a larger story that will, if I ever find the time to write it, chronicle the love story of Remus and Tonks. In the event it happens, this is a chapter from that story. Uneasy the Course of Love

Oh yeah and I don't own Harry Potter, if I did, Remus and Tonks would still be alive.

**Uneasy the Course of Love: The Return**

The Tonks' household was quiet, silently tucked away in their beds, while Remus Lupin stood on the door step and waited. For what he was anticipating, he did not know. Some sign letting him know that he had not completely buggered his relationship with his wife and that somehow, after everything he'd already put her through, Nymphadora could forgive him.

After Harry's reception of him yesterday, he doubted that Dora's would be any more welcoming. Regardless, he'd resigned himself to try...and to do more then try. If she would not take him back, then he would have to find some way to wriggle his way into his place in her heart, even if he had to beg on hands and knees. For too long he'd been too proud.

But there was no blinding flash or directional map in front of him, no friends to urge him to fix a row that should never had been.

He mustered his Gryffindor courage, threw off the usual bite of pride that came any time he entered the house that was not his own, and shut the door quietly behind him. The front room was empty, mercifully. He did not wish to see Andromeda glaring at him as he came running back with his tail between his legs. His hubris could only take so much.

Mounting the stairs that lead down to the small apartment that Dora's mother and father had cobbled together for them upon, he passed a line of baby pictures of his wife. He smiled at each individual one as it displayed a different color of hair or eyes. It was a sad sort of smile. Remus still wasn't one hundred percent sure that any baby would be safe in his presence. But Dora and their unborn child deserved his willingness to try.

He would not leave them again until they kicked him out.

Lightly, he knocked on the door that lead to their bedroom.

"Mum, I told you its just a touch of morning sickness," Tonks' voice came through muffled by the door. "I just need to lay down."

"Dora, its me," he called, loud enough so she might hear him but careful not to wake the others.

Silence followed after that. Not even the sound of Dora's tripping feet.

After long inexorable moments. He palmed the door open and crossed the threshold. Dora was sitting up in bed, her hair shifting colors as though caught in an unseen breeze. Her face was paler then it had ever been before, but despite that, she seemed to glow vibrantly. Guardedly, she regarded him.

They eyed one another for a long time, Remus unable to think of how to broach the subject that stood between them.

"What are you doing here, Remus?" Dora asked, her voice tired and broken.

He cringed, knowing that he was at fault for her lackluster. "I...I've come to apologize."

"Apologize?" she said a bit dubiously. Then she nodded her colorful head. "Well, if you're done. I'd like to get some sleep. Please shut the door when you leave."

"Dora?" he said, thrown slightly by her attitude.

"Don't," she snapped, her voice made watery by tears. "Just don't."

At the tone of defeat and the way her shoulders slumped, he cursed himself for ever being so cruel. He took a step forward, having every intention of loving that pain away from her.

"By Merlin, Remus, if you take another step, I'll curse you." As if her words weren't enough, she brandished her wand in front of her.

That stilled his feet, his hand curling around the wand in his pocket in case he had to relieve Dora of her own. It was never wise to duel with ones wife. "What do you want me to do?"

"So now you ask me what I want?"

"I've always tried to do what was best for you," he tried to explain lamely.

She shot out of the bed, walked the gap between them, and shoved him hard. "Well, I'm sick and tired of what you think is best." She huffed, turning away from him as he stumbled to gain his footing. "I've been patient. I've been the bloody soul of patience. But I can't take this anymore."

"So what are you saying?" he asked, the words sticking in his mouth. He had never seen her so angry, save for when she was battling Death Eaters.

She hugged herself, her back still towards him. "I'm saying, maybe you were right."

Heart freezing in his chest, Remus felt his worst fear rise to the surface. He was too late. He'd realized his folly only after destroying what was nearest and dearest to him. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked, his voice coming out harsher and angrier then he intended.

"Don't you dare get mad at me," she hissed, swinging back to face him and looking for all the world that she wanted to push him again. Her hair settled on a very violent crimson and it was as though fire blazed behind her dark eyes. "You're the one who walked out."

"I know! I was a fool!" It was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep his tone under control. Few people could effectively get him riled, by Nymphadora Lupin certainly had a special talent for it.

Her dark eyes narrowed in vindictive pride. "And how long before your foolishness causes you to leave me again. This time with a baby."

"I...," he drew off. What could he properly say to her? "I...somehow, I'll gain back your trust."

She shook her head, her hair and eyes losing their color as she was robbed of control of her morphing. "If you stay long enough."

Remus closed his eyes, sucking in a stuttering breath. "You aren't the first person I've pushed away, Nymphadora. You've just been the hardest."

That startled her to silence for a moment before she gave an indelicate snort. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

After another pregnant pause, Remus continued. "I'm sorry. You're probably beginning to wonder if that word has lost meaning to me, but truly I am. I wasn't prepared to deal with this so shortly after we were married. And I reacted badly."

"Two weeks, Remus. Two weeks, without knowing if you were alive or dead and wondering if I would ever know. Were in the middle of a war, you prat."

"I'm sor..."

"Don't tell me you're sorry," she snapped, her voice razor sharp. "Your words really don't mean anything to me right now."

Her hands balled into fists at her sides and her face was starting to turn red with the blood rushing in her anger. Remus hadn't been thick enough to think he could fix everything in this single night, but he knew now that his presence wasn't helping Dora any. He was suddenly struck with the fact that it wasn't just his Dora any more, but the child she carried inside of her.

"I'm going to go upstairs," he said evenly. Her anger and doubt towards him was well deserved, he wouldn't argue this with her further. "I'll be on the couch if you need me."

"What?"

"You aren't well and in your present condition I have no wish to expedite it further," he said. Courageously, he stepped up to her and cupped her face with his hand. She tried to resist him but he used gentle pressure to bring her eyes to his. He leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly against hers. "Good night."

He turned to walk away, but was stopped as she grabbed his arm. Entertaining the thought that she might not want him to leave her and that they lay side by side in their bed, vanished when she asked, "Will you be there when I wake up?"

"I will."


	2. Chapter 2

It was a hard night. The sofa cushions were actually comfortable, but the length of the couch left much to be desired. He tried propping his feet on the arm rest, but that had put too much pressure on his lower back. The back of the sofa kept his back warm, but his sides were still too tender from his recent transformation to put any sort of weight on them. He'd flopped onto his stomach, but couldn't find a way to lay his head without putting a crick in his neck.

Sometime after dawn, he gave up the restless sleep and set about making breakfast. Dora's parents hadn't approved of their marriage before he'd skipped out on their very pregnant and young daughter. He doubted that now he had returned they'd welcome him with open arms. His cooking abilities had been one of the few things to impress the older witch and wizard.

His movements were careful, his right leg still unsure under his weight, but it didn't take long to set toast to browning, eggs to scrambling, and bacon to frying. From upstairs, he heard stirring, and knew the smell of the breakfast had wafted up to the Tonks'.

Displaying a nonchalance that he doesn't particularly feel, Remus pointed his hand at one of the cupboards and the door opened and four plates hovered to the table and set themselves down gently.

Ted came down first, running his hand through his light hair and rubbing sleep from his eyes with the other. "Dora, baby, you didn't have to...," he drew off as he spotted Remus.

The most Remus could produce was a half smile and a quiet, "Ted." When the older man continued to stare at him like he was seeing the bloody ghost of Christmas past, Remus continued, "Breakfast?"

His wry tone, only caused Ted's dark eyes to narrow indignantly. Most of the time, Remus figured that Dora took mostly after the Black's in features, but right then, with his ire mirroring that of his daughter's from the previous night, he realized he had not adequately given Ted his due.

"Come to bribe us with a fry up, Lupin?" Ted asked sharply.

"I couldn't sleep," he explained lamely.

"Does Dora know you're here?"

He was glad he could give an affirmative nod. "I saw her last night. It was late and instead of discussing everything right then, I assured her I would see her in the morning."

"Wonder if she'll believe that," Ted murmured and Remus winced.

Coming around the table, the older wizard plopped himself into the chair. As he heaped a generous amount of eggs upon Ted's plate, he attempted to meet the older man's eyes. There wasn't more then a decade between Ted and Lupin, but Remus found himself feeling very much the chagrined boy.

He sighed as he placed the pan of eggs back on the stove and returned with a platter of bacon. "I don't know what to do. If I stay, I hurt her. If I leave, I hurt her," he explained quietly. "You can't tell me that you're happy about this child."

At Remus' accusation, Ted's jaw tightened like steel. "You don't know me at all, Lupin."

"No, your actions have spoken quite clearly," he said, managing to keep his voice even.

"We weren't pleased with your marriage," Ted admitted in a deliberate tone.

Was his ears playing ticks on him or had that been phrased in past tense? "Weren't?"

The older wizard sighed, scratching a hand over his chest where a stain had marred his pajamas. "We shared your fears, Lupin. If you'll remember, Dromeda only had a problem with your lycanthropy once you started to show an interest in her daughter, not when you were simply her cousin's best friend." Ted used his fork to push around his eggs. "Circumstances can change everything."

Remus had always considered himself quite capable of deducing nuance in any conversation, but Ted had left him rather perplexed. "I'm not quite sure what you're trying to tell me."

"I'm going to be your champion, Lupin."

The joint in his jaw nearly came unhinged as his mouth dropped open in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"It does not, however, come without a price. I need you to promise me something, Lupin. That when I leave that you will not think of me as a total hypocrite."

Reeling at the number of subject changes, Remus blurted, "Leave?"

Ted's dark eyes narrowed on him again, the irritation behind them once again reminding Remus of Dora. "Shush, you prat. I don't want Andromeda or Nymphadora knowing quite yet."

Dropping onto the chair next to Ted, Remus leaned closer as though he was about to plan the next prank with James, Sirius, and Peter. "Why are you leaving?"

"I refused to sign the Muggle-born registration. It will only be a matter of time before the ministry," and he sneered this last as well as Snape on his worst days, "will come for me." He glanced at Remus and the werewolf knew he had not been able to withhold his horror. "If it was just Dromeda and I, it wouldn't matter so much, but we can't be so reckless with a baby on the way."

"Ted, I don't know what to say," Remus sputtered.

"Say, you'll watch out for them while I'm gone. Say that you've put aside all your own qualms and will listen to what Dora needs. Because as much as I hate to admit it, Lupin, she needs you. If anything, your absence has proven this to me."

Remus nodded. "Not the most stellar recommendation I've ever received. But not the worst either. But Ted, if you think you have become a danger, then I am far worse."

To his surprise, Ted shook his head. "Not at the moment. With Voldemort employing Greyback and some of the others, they can't write legislation against you. For now, your safer then I am."

Blinking, Remus' mind had a hard time processing this. "I am sorry, Ted."

"I know, and perhaps we understand each other a little more." From outside of the kitchen, both wizards heard the sound of shuffling feet. "Now that would be Andromeda, just follow my lead."

As Andromeda walked into the kitchen, she stopped dead at the threshold, eyeing Remus as though she could hex him with just the power of her stare. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw Ted fight his amusement. Remus knew better. Sirius had brandished a glare just like that when he was his most dangerous.

"Look who's come to eat crow," Ted said, gesturing a fork to Remus before dipping it into his eggs.

Eyeing Ted with surprise, Andromeda said, "And how does it taste?"

"Bittersweet," Remus answered. "Would you care for some eggs?"

"Does Nymphadora know you're here?" Andromeda echoed her husbands earlier question.

There was a guttural growl behind the witch, that sent Andromeda spinning on her heals and showed Dora standing with her hands planted on her hips. "Why can't you at least call me, Dora, like Dad does, Mother?"

"Hours of labor entitles me to call you whatever I want, Nymphadora." A grey eye turned on Remus yet again. "You'll soon learn the truth of that."

Unwavering, Remus did his best to withhold the wince that had accompanied any mention of his future child. Harry had reminded him that he had responsibilities and though he had not quite come to terms with the idea of having a baby, possibly a werewolf baby, he knew he could no longer hurt Dora any longer.

"That isn't for several months yet," he reminded them gently. He couldn't tell by Andromeda's face whether or not he had passed her veiled test, but both witches joined Ted at the table.

Dora held out her plate and said, "Remus, I think I can stomach some of those eggs."


End file.
